Snow and Safe Sex

Dec 16, 2022

Hunting in the snow has its challenges and here are a few tips to keep in mind...

Footwear. When the temps drop to the point of snow, keeping your feet warm is paramount. Well-insulated boots are a must; I like felt liners in mine and good socks. Never wear cotton socks when the mercury drops. The BEST socks on the planet come from ALPACA of MONTANA. These are Alpaca wool socks that keep your toes frostbite free.



Good Gloves. Our toes and fingers are the first things that get cold when we tackle the "white stuff". While there are hundreds of gloves on the market, there are few that are really designed for the outdoors and especially hunting. They are bulky, seldom water/snowproof and, more often than not, our hands still get COLD. I recently purchased a set of gloves by GIVE-R GLOVES that I'm really impressed with. They feature a leather outer shell and a waterproof membrane. They make a set of mitts as well that should work amazing well if you are a stand hunter. They are a bit pricey. However, when you think you are about to lose your trigger finger to FROSTBITE, they are worth every penny spent.



Head Gear. We lose a lot of heat through our head and around our neck. A WOOL hat is best and don't forget a scarf to seal off your neck. It's worth noting when dealing with the COLD to pace yourself on the hunt. There is no point in over-exerting oneself and perspiring. This can be a big mistake should you spend a night in the woods. Pace yourself and open that zipper or top button to cool down gradually and don't get overheated.



Last, but not least, the SEX PART YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!



Stalking in the snow can be hazardous in more ways than one. Much like having unprotected sex, it can land you in the ER if you are not prepared. Protecting the muzzle is of utmost importance in snowy weather conditions. Some folks wrap the muzzle in electrical tap. Not a good idea IMHO and certainly not recommended in the S___ DEPT. A far better solution is to use a barrel condom (latex kids balloons work best, and saves embarrassment at the checkout counter) and secure it with a rubber band over the barrel. When stalking in the snow it is very easy to dip the barrel in the snow if you are not careful. Shooting a bullet down the barrel with a bore obstruction can be hazardous to your health and should be avoided at all costs.


The air column in the bore is compressed upon firing and this blows the balloon away prior to the bullet exiting the muzzle.


A barrel condom is the SAFE EFFECTIVE way to combat a STD.


16 Dec, 2022
My hunting partner and I have kicked this idea around for quite some time, and it has serious merit. I get to shaking my head at the long-drawn-out communication that often occurs between spotters and shooters. Not only is the dialog long, but it is also confusing to the shooter and poor performance in the field is pretty much guaranteed! When Ernie Bishop and I shot the WTRC shoot in Wyoming, we had great dialog and our performance was evident, taking 2nd place two years in a row at this difficult cross-country shoot. But, as the saying goes: "THERE is ALWAYS room for IMPROVEMENT." So, grab a cold one from the fridge and listen up! For those of you who have been to my shooting school, you will remember the SHOOTER READY, SPOTTER READY technique that we teach. It works pretty well and is easy enough to teach. However, it takes most students a couple of days to get it down. They always want to ADD UNNECESSARY WORDS to the dialog: Boy Jonas, that was really close, I'd just come over a bit more and let's try-er again. You'll git-er this time. Aaarg! The dialog does nothing for the shooter, it wastes time, and is confusing as hell! What's close? How much is a bit more? Am I out vertically or horizontally? You get the picture! The NEW SYSTEM we've developed is far simpler and very concise. ( As the KIWI's would say) Let's have a "GO" at it. Let's begin by identifying the players. The Spotter is called ALPHA, the Shooter is called BRAVO, Hold is called CHARLIE and DELTA is the word for FIRE. Using the phonetic alphabet makes it very simple; there are no confusing words that interrupt the shooting sequence. Once the target is identified (more on this in another article) the spotter calls out ALPHA; when the shooter is on the target he calls BRAVO. Both spotter and shooter are now on target. The spotter's job is to call the wind and let the shooter know when to fire. CHARLIE is the word for "HOLD," and as the desired wind approaches he can say CHARLIE CHARLIE (prepping the shooter to get ready). When the wind is perfect DELTA is uttered and the shooter FIRES. Here it is in real-time: ALPHA... BRAVO... CHARLIE... CHARLIE-CHARLIE...DELTA! Upon impact, the spotter simply calls the correction NEEDED to hit the "X", not the amount the shooter missed by. There should be NO confusion as to what needs to be put in the rifle. UP/DOWN 2-MOA, LEFT/RIGHT .5 MOA. Always call the correction in MINUTES or a FRACTION of a MINUTE. There is a bit of leeway here in how the correction can be done. The shooter remains on the rifle after firing the shot and CYCLES THE BOLT. When he is back on target he calls BRAVO (letting the spotter know he has acquired the target and is ready for any necessary correction, or whether it is necessary to shoot again). The spotter should know the "CLICK VALUE" of the shooter's scope (i.e., .250 or .5 MOA, or whatever?). He can call the correction in MINUTES (allowing the shooter to do the math, converting minutes to "clicks") Or, the spotter can do the MATH and the shooter just counts/feels the tactile clicks in his/her scope to make the required correction. The latter is the better choice IMHO. While keeping the target in the scope, the shooter feels the "tactile clicks" and repeats the correction back to the spotter. Keep in mind the shooter stays on target and SHOULD KNOW the direction (clockwise/counterclockwise) his/her dials turn to elevate and adjust wind without breaking stock weld to look at the dials.
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